Week 32

The official start of my 8th month!

I am 64 days away from my 11/29 due date. I can’t believe I can say 8 months pregnant. It almost feels like a confession that I don’t want to make. There are people that come up to me and ask how far along I am; I proudly state the facts, and then I feel like I’ve entered an interrogation room. Am I prepared, do I have the baby’s room finished, am I going back to work, why am I going to try to go natural when there are so many good drugs out there?, etc. I don’t mind answering these questions to my friends and family. They all care and are really interested in my response. I’m talking about the acquaintances and sometimes strangers that are all of a sudden terribly interested in what is going on with my body just so they can tell me their horror stories. I understand that having a baby is a very exciting time for a lot of people in my social circle, but these people barely register anywhere within said circle. And I don’t want to hear anything negative. It’s bad enough that I have a very active imagination. It’s as if they want to hear my response solely for the purpose of telling me how awful their pregnancy/birth was. These situations are partially my fault as well. I answer their questions honestly, and I try not to be rude so I am actually enabling these people to annoy me! Oh well. Only 2 months to go.

Only 2 months to go. That seems incredible to me. There are times I can forget that I am pregnant. There are times that I don’t feel like my life is in flux and that everything is exactly the same as it was a year ago. But then it doesn’t take long before I am either poked in the ribs or have to go to the bathroom, again, or have so other pregnancy related revelation. As I’ve stated before in these updates, I am not at all nervous about the next 2 months, or even the birth. I am so nervous about being a mom. So I’ve tried to condition myself to take just one step at a time and to enjoy each moment as I am experiencing it. This is new for me as I am always trying to plan for and anticipate things that have not (and most likely) will not occur. I wouldn’t say that I am a worrier (some of you may disagree) but I am an analyzer and planner. There are many things that I have to plan for; day care, finding a pediatrician, college, etc. but, most of the things that I worry about can be dealt with in the moment. As long as I remember that I’ll be ok. J

It’s funny, because I write these little updates to keep all of you involved during my pregnancy, but it also serves as a little pep talk for myself as well. It gives me a few minutes to look at my current situation without all of the daily interference of life.

This week Eric and I went to our first birthing class. It was good. I think Eric enjoyed it as well. I am the first one due in the class. It made me feel like I had procrastinated in scheduling the class, but there really wasn’t a class I could take that was any earlier. And this class has a waiting list for 2 other couples, so I am glad that we were able to get in. The woman that runs the class seems very nice. She used the Bradley Method of birthing for her 3 children and strongly believes that in most cases natural childbirth is the way to go. This obviously is not for everyone, but she definitely made me feel more confident that a natural childbirth doesn’t have to be the hellish depiction that you see on tv or hear from your friends. And one thing she said that I also truly believe is that fear and not knowing what to expect can make the experience exactly what you most fear it can be. The more informed and the more accepting you are of the situation the more prepared you are to deal with what is at hand. I think this is true for life and will also be true for having a baby. Now, I could be completely talking out of my behind having not done this before. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough. Another thing she did was lead us through a guided relaxation technique. My mom taught us how to do this when we were very young, so I’ve been able to get to a supreme relaxed state for most of my life. (Thanks mom!) When she started the exercise I was ready to take a nap within 20 seconds. It was bliss. Now I know when I am actually doing this technique during the birth of this baby it may be slightly more difficult to get relaxed, nonetheless I think it will be hugely helpful.

Now for the good stuff: the baby’s lungs are continuing to mature. As they become more developed the chances of survival if born prematurely increases dramatically. The skin, which has been wrinkled, will now become pink and smooth as fat cells fill out the body. The baby also knows my voice by now. And its fingernails have grown in, so they may need to be cut by the time it’s born. The baby weighs about 3½ pounds and stretches to about 11.2 inches from crown to rump. Below are the weekly renderings.

Week 31

This week has been fun. The baby moves all the time, I feel pretty good and everything is going well. I’m so glad that I get to report once a week that everything is on schedule and that everything is fine. I probably wouldn’t enjoy writing this if there was something negative to report. Even if I personally waffle and have concerns none of that affects the baby. He/she is doing very well.

We’re going to start the fall season this weekend. I love the fall. The weather gets a little cooler, the leaves begin to change color and the world becomes crisp. For me there always seems to be a little more clarity with this season. The haze of the summer is gone and you are not yet distracted by the bitterness of winter. I am very excited to have my first child in this season. Well, let’s be honest, I would be excited to have this baby during any season, but the fall is special for me. It reminds me of school and family; there was always a lot of anticipation for the holidays. I have so many positive memories of this season during my life and now I am looking forward to a truly new moment to begin. My life will never be the same. A little while ago, that seemed like a terribly daunting prospect. Today it feels refreshing. Today I am in awe of my new upcoming role. Today I am very pleased with my little spot in the world.

Today, I am also really looking forward to maternity leave! It almost feels like waiting for summer vacation to come when you are in school. Essentially, it’s April for me in my senior year of high school. I know what I have to do, but I can barely concentrate on the task at hand. And how much does my participation really matter at this point? The stock market/bond market has had its most volatile week in the 12 years that I have been doing this and there is nothing I can do to control it. I can help facilitate my customers’ trades but I have no idea how to really advise them under the current conditions. I don’t think anyone really does. My daily calls to my accounts have flip-flopped all week. I wish I had more insightful things to say about the current economic crisis but it is all a blur right now. There are so many moving parts to this thing right now that I’m suffering from economic whip-lash. I think I need a few maternity months to recover. J

Eric and I had a Dr.’s appointment yesterday. I have gained 18 pounds so far. I really have gained 17 ½ pounds, but I am trying to embrace the numbers as they get bigger, so I am rounding up. However, it has to be quite obvious to you that I am not completely comfortable with this if I am writing this little caveat. So, to you my lovely friends and family, I am sharing my unease with the weight numbers, but to everyone else I will put on a brave face and just round up. Let’s face it; I really haven’t hid anything else from you along this funny pregnancy journey. But 18 pound is right in line with what I should weigh now. They say you should gain between 25 and 35 pounds and from this point forward I should be gaining about 1 pound per week. So I should end up in the +25-30 pound weight category.

Now back to baby info. The baby should weigh around 3 pounds now and it measures approximately 11 inches from crown to rump. It can move its head, open its eyes and make breathing movements through its open nostrils although no air comes in. This baby also moves all the time. I love it and I think I’ll miss it a little once the baby is born. But then I’ll have the baby, so I probably won’t mind that much! Below are the weekly renderings.

Week 30

I think I have officially reached the stage where I am just about done being pregnant. My belly has changed so much in the last few days that I actually find it shocking. I had a belly button in Hawaii. And although it is still there a little bit, it is getting flatter by the hour. I can’t believe the speed in which my belly is changing. Now, I know that I have been pregnant for 30 weeks and it’s been changing the entire time, but this last week has seen some major changes. It is so much harder to the touch, it feels as if it can’t get any bigger, and I just feel huge. Even Eric said “Jeez Des, your belly is big”. To which I said it was not and to leave me alone! For some reason when he comments on my stomach I take it very personally. I know logically that he is only reacting to my belly but I can’t help hearing “fat, fat, fat”. I know I am not fat. In fact I was able to get my own jeans over my butt this week and wear them into work. Now they were unbuttoned and held together by a hair band, but they were on and looked good. And I felt good because they still “fit”.

I have also noticed some major changes in my breathing. It is much more labored and I am much slower when I walk. I can not walk and talk easily anymore. Shoot, I can’t sit and talk easily either. This can be very frustrating. Again, I know I have to be logical about this whole experience and recognize my new limitations but that doesn’t mean I have to like them. I really want my old body back. I want to be able to bend at the waist. I want to not let out an audible sigh or loud breath when I have to get out of bed, off the couch, pick up something from the floor, etc. It is getting a little ridiculous and to be honest, I do not have a sense of humor about it all.

But not everything is so gloomy. I do really love being pregnant at the same time. When I am able to look at my body with some perspective I really like how I look. I still love feeling the baby move. I think I must look silly with my hands on my stomach all the time but I just don’t want to miss a moment of possible movement inside or out. I’m still freaked out that in 10 weeks (maybe more, maybe less) I’m going to have a little baby that is all my own and is all my responsibility. I have not reconciled in my head how that works. My sisters never liked it when I tried to mother them. They still don’t like it when I do it. What happens if this kid feels like my sisters and what if I feel the same hurt and disappointment when I am rejected? Inevitably this will happen, but will it feel the same? Will it hurt more because this is my child? I am very nervous about that possibility. I suspect that the highs and lows will be more volatile and shocking then I can fathom at this point. But my own trepidation does not outweigh my excitement.

So far I have gained 14½ pounds, 5 pounds this last month! I am pleased with this so far. I feel so much larger. Carrying around an extra 15 pounds is a lot harder then I expected. It is all in front so my lower back is struggling to compensate for the weight, so it usually hurts a little by the end of the day. Eric has been very sweet. He rubs my back and feet if I’m a little uncomfortable. He’s been watching me like a hawk when it comes to me bending down and picking things up too. We were food shopping the other day (the 2nd time he has come with me since we starting living together 4 years ago) and yelled at me every time I went to grab something from the bottom shelf. It was cute and annoying at the same time. He wasn’t annoying, but realizing my limitations can be.

So here’s the important data. 78 days to go. The baby weighs about 2 pounds 12 oz and is about 10½ inches from crown to rump. It’s adding fat to insulate the body. It can take breaths now but obviously won’t breathe air until delivery. The baby’s growth has started to slow down now, but it will still gain approximately four pounds between now and the birth. Below are this weeks renderings.

Week 29

Last week Eric and I went to Hawaii for a last vacation hurrah before there are three of us. We had a wonderful time and it was nice to just get away and relax. We’ve both been so busy as of late that getting away seemed like the only way to actually have more then a 2 minute conversation that didn’t revolve around work, baby or the house. And we were so happy to meet up with my cousin that lives in Oahu. I haven’t seen Megan in forever and it was nice to have dinner with her while we were away. So all in all it was a great trip and I would highly recommend Hawaii to anyone that has never been there. It can be expensive, but there are definite ways to pinch a penny and still make it a glorious vacation.

Now back to baby news. Tomorrow I have my last monthly Doctors appointment. Now that I am 7 months along I will see the Dr. every 2 weeks. Tomorrow I will also have my glucose test to determine if I have gestational diabetes. I believe everything will come back normal, but between 4-7% of pregnant women develop this condition, which makes it the most widespread of all pregnancy ailments. However most of the time it is the easiest to control. Making good food choices and light exercise can help control your insulin production and keep the diabetes at bay. That’s good advice for everyone, pregnant or not, but something that I have been paying more attention to since I became pregnant.

I’ve been feeling really great recently. The heartburn is still out of this world horrible, but other then that I think everything is going very well. I still have slight swelling at the end of the night and I get tired rather quickly at times, but nothing I can’t control with some preplanning of my day. So there really isn’t much new to report, which I believe is a good thing. The only thing that I seem to be constantly experiencing is a little anxiety about becoming a mom. I think this is normal too, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t unsettling at times. I had a dream last night that I had twin girls that aged 13 years within seconds. This was completely normal to me. They had long hair and were very sweet. I told them because they were old enough they could choose which name they wanted of the ones that Eric and I picked. They chose and then I couldn’t remember the one girl’s names. I know it began with an A and I felt bad because I kept asking her what her name was. And she couldn’t remember either. I felt like an awful mom because I didn’t know them at all and then I couldn’t remember one of their names. This was not a good dream and I know it has to do with the stress I am feeling about this huge impending change.

But I am in my last trimester, so we only have a little while to go. I can’t believe I’m in the last leg of this pregnancy. I think I still am carrying tiny, which I am pleased about. Everyone seems to want me to be bigger then I am. But as long as the midwife says that I’m fine I’m not going to worry about it at all. I’ll talk to you all next week. There is only 1 pregnancy rendering this week.