Week 40

Hello all and Welcome to Post-Natal Week 40

Well everyone, the past few weeks have been extremely busy. Estella is a moving machine! I thoroughly enjoy playing with her when she is crawling and walking all over the floor. She prefers to be standing and walking around the couch and ottomans that we have, but crawling is just fine in a pinch. We've been playing a game where she crawls away from me and I crawl up behind her and give her a tickle. It's one of our favorites! She laughs and laughs, it's just great. Eric and Estella have started going to the playground without me the last few weeks. It gives them some much needed Daddy/Daughter time. Estella becomes so attached to me after we get home during the week that it is difficult to easily get her to go to Eric. Going to the playground has definitely helped that issue. And she loves the swing! Eric says she laughs and smiles the entire time.

So an interesting (to me, probably not so interesting to you all) moment passed this week. On Tuesday, August 25, Estella was 39 weeks and 2 days old. That is the exact length of time that she was in the womb when she was born, 39 weeks and 2 days. This was special to me and I wanted to make a note of it. A total of 550 days. I think that's pretty cool.

Something else that struck me the last few weeks was how someone's birth story (whether their own or one they've experienced) stays with them at all times. Now I have written at length about my own personal thoughts and feelings concerning my pregnancy, labor and motherhood. These topics are "of the moment" and important to me and I am sure to other people as well. (Probably not MY personal experiences, their experiences, but you know what I'm getting to) However, I was caught off guard last week when another woman in passing mentioned her son being born 2 months early. We weren't speaking about premature babies, birth stories or anything of the sort. She had just introduced me to her 13 year old daughter. I asked if she had any other children. She said, "I have a 12 year old son, he was 2 months early, but he is fine now". Amazing. Because when she made that statement it was clear to me that although he is now 12 she was transported to his birth and all of those emotions and thoughts. It was quick and if I wasn't paying attention I may not have noticed, but there was this very raw look that flashed over her face for just a moment and then it was gone. She could have easily just said to me that she has a son, but she added the part where he was born premature. It is an integral part of her story and had to be mentioned with just the fact of him.

I have recently begun taking yoga classes. I love them and I am very excited to go again tomorrow morning. For those of you that have never done a yoga, at the end of the class there is a period of time that is used for meditation and relaxation/reflection. It's funny the things that run through your head when you are trying to clear it of everything. Estella's birth has been floating through my head. My water breaking, contractions, going through transisition. I never get to the moment of her birth. The goal is to keep the mind clear so I keep trying to push these images away but they continue to pop up. Even though I am just about 40 weeks past her birth it is the first thing that my mind goes to during meditation. All the milestones she, we, have made in the past 9 months are important, but her birth is the singular game changer. And like the woman that told me about her premature son, Estella's birth stays with me and it is just the fact of her that I come back to in my relaxed, (supposedly) clear of thought state.

Estella is teething again. She is fine during the day but when it's bedtime it is quite obvious she is in pain. I feel so bad. I do everything I can think of to help her through this, but the teeth just have to come through. Once that happens she will be able to sleep again, her nose will stop running and Mommy might get to sleep through the night too. Hopefully we will see the teeth in a few days.

I hope all of you are doing well. Happy Birthday Aunt Alice and Tiffanie! Have a wonderful weekend!

Love to you all,
Desiree